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The Wedding Day Mistake

Posted By: Stephen James

There is one mistake that I see happen at weddings which two people probably deeply regret after the big day. These two people are off course the bride and groom, and the mistake is easily avoidable.

I perform at over 50 weddings every year, and every so often I will attend one where the bride or groom (or both) are basically in "event planner mode". One of them is running around trying to organise one thing or another, and I can tell they are too busy to appreciate and enjoy the small and big moments of the day. I often think these couples are going to look back and regret not enjoying their day as much as they could have done.

And that is a huge shame, most couples spend £15,000-£30,000 on their wedding and they are so preoccupied with making sure it runs well that they actually have moments where they almost forget to enjoy it. There are three things you can do to try and avoid this situation.

1) Delegate Everything
The great thing about your wedding day is that you can ask anyone to help with almost anything and 80% of the time people will say "Yes". Make is so that there is NOTHING you have to do, organise or check up on on your wedding day (and if possible for the 48 hours before). Delegate every single thing to someone so all you have to do is turn up, look amazing and enjoy it.

2) Have A Wedding Coordinator
I am not talking about the wedding coordinator from your venue, they will only oversee things relating to the venue. I am talking about a wedding coordinator to oversee everything, someone who:
- Has the phone numbers of every supplier and person you have delegated tasks to
- Know every task that needs to be done, and who each one has been delegated to
- Has the full plan for the day
- Isn't afraid to politely bust some balls to get everything done
- Is prepared to take responsibility for the running for the day
- Is someone you trust implicitly
- Is someone who will do what the bride wants rather than what they personally want (so avoid using the mother of the bride)

Then make sure every person knows on the day that any issues need to be taken to this wedding coordinator to sort out, rather than directly to the bride and groom. Now the question is who should this person be? You may have a close friend who can be trusted with this task, but be aware that this person may not enjoy the wedding as much if you make them work. I would suggest going to a professional - you can employ a wedding planner to make sure everything runs to plan on the day (even if you don't use them to plan the wedding) or book a very good toastmaster (they don't just manage the toasts, they make sure things run smoothly in the background).

3) Let Go
Once you have delegated everything and handed the reigns for the day to whomever is going to coordinate on your behalf make a conscious decision on the morning of the wedding to "let go". Get a good rest the night before, make yourself look amazing, turn up and savour every moment. Resist the urge to check things and manage the day, let the coordinator deal with it all and send anyone who brings you problems to deal with to them. And if things do't go to plan, just relax and go with it - you will enjoy your day the most if you are relaxed and taking it easy. It's supposed to be fun and you are with the people who love you the most, so try to let the pressure go as it is all a head and mindset thing.

Now off course this is slightly idyllic, you are not going to go through the whole day without something unplanned happening or having to do anything. But by following these simple steps you can decrease the likelihood of problems and, mostly importantly, decrease the chances of you looking back and saying "I wish I had enjoyed my day more".

Plan ahead, delegate, relax, take it all in and most importantly enjoy your big day!

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